The Dirt is Worth the Beauty of Naked Feet

I ran through the grass today.
In naked feet.
And the small of my back was moist with sweat and delight...
Delight over a baseball glove and a silly bear named Boo.
I could feel the bridge of my nose becoming red from the weight of my too-big-for-my-face sunglasses...
But still I smiled.
And Jonn said I looked gorgeous...
Standing there in my forest green Mt. Gilead shirt,
Draped in memories,
Wearing my Tom Sawyer pants,
Holding a heavy wooden baseball bat,
And trying desperately hard to keep my back foot planted...
To no avail.
I felt small.
And insignificant...
But for once that felt like a good thing...
I wasn't important.
I wasn't needed.
I wasn't pressured.
I wasn't in a charade of tea cakes and halos.
I was just a girl,
Playing catch with a boy,
And it didn't matter that my toes became dirty,
Or that my make-up was smearing beneath my eyes.
The world zoomed out.
And I zoomed in on what what I want in life.
I want gloves,
And baseball bats,
And recently budded flowers,
And sunshine every morning,
And grass...
I want to learn how to savor these little things so that when the fog drifts in and refuses to lift,
When the robin is absent from its perch,
When I've rubbed Black off of Reptile and I can no longer smell Bear,
I want to still see beauty,
And the joy that is found in life...
I want to smile at the future.
Of course, that is only a bit of what I want. Just a glimpse. But I don't want much...or maybe I do. I don't know.

It doesn't matter where we are...what matters is that we are there. Strategically placed. Cliche? Yes. True? Without a doubt. My hope, my prayer (yes, I do pray occasionally) is that we will learn to keep our hearts content and to not pine for what we do not have, to not look back on yesterday and wish that things could be the same. Because no matter how much we hope, things won't be the same. And we can either cry about it...or we can seize the day and all that God has placed there. Why chew on stale substance when we can feel the juice of fresh straw'bries dripping off of our hungry chins today...TODAY...right now we have the sweet sensation of summer's goodness...savor it. It's what its here for.

I feel lost sometimes too. But maybe we aren't lost. Maybe we're just adventuring and we've never had to use a compass before today. But that's ok. We learn to step ahead. We learn to build shopping malls out of toothpicks. We learn the new things until those things become...every day (yet uncommonplace things). We're experiencing...and sometimes its a trial and error process...but the important thing is that we learn. And maybe no one does understand...maybe there is no one at the moment who can truly sympathize with what is going on in our lives...but why should that stop us from really living? It's just a step. And we'll make it. And conquer the next foot in front of us just like we did the last.

This in-between time is only a fragment of our lives. Yet perhaps maybe the most difficult. That awkward place of being torn between lives that we once lived and lives that we live now. We're growing up. And moving on...moving out...and trying desperately hard to carve out a place for ourselves in this big, big world. But we will make it. We have to believe that and take hold of it.

Be encouraged, my friends...
Some things in life do remain a constant
(the love of friends, for example...the ever present grace of God for another...)

Sleep well.
Dream sweetly.
Know you are loved.