Oh My Soul

I am not sure where to begin
I have the desire to pour out my heart but I find myself unsure of where it is

I read the words posted on this wonderful blog
words of love
and encouragement
I cry

Im not sure why
I cry because I miss Aimee
I haven't seen her in God knows how long
and yet her prayers hit home
hit the soft spot

I cry because I miss my Baby
she is hurting and i dont even know why
and I cant give her a hug
i cant tell her things are going to be okay
But Baby they will
God loves you so much it hurts my head to think about it

I hate how cliche God has become
even me saying a simple truth like that so often is said
heard
agreed to
and just as quickly forgotten

BUT GOD LOVES YOU
ALL

Thought transition...

Thomas is in India
it is weird that he is so far away
i miss him
He is my encouragement and convicter
God has used him in powerful ways and I stand in awe of how much Jesus blesses us

I long for the past

I visit Willits but its not the same
I am happy with how much I have grown
but I think back on my life
on the happiness I have experienced and i am grieved
i dont know why
Really there isnt much in my past i want to go back to
friends
I miss friends
I miss close friendships
people you can cry with
laugh with about stupid things until you cry
I cry because i miss that

My tears are seen by no one but God
I began to read the blog in the living room
but moved into my room because i could not stop the tears
and i feared my dad walking in and seeing me

In a way i fell stranded in Santa Rosa
no friends

I start work tomorrow
that will be interesting
but it will fill the hours

I wanted to go to church today
but my dad went to the early service without me
i was really upset
still am
but trying to forgive him

so instead i listened to a sermon by Bill Johnson
my brother introduced me to him and his messages are powerful
the Holy Spirit is always present

I miss my girls
I miss people who know me
I find myself searching for my identity that I know I will find in Christ
and yet
I dont know myself

I love you all
you are in my prayers
The peace of God be on you all
right now...