Riding the Waves

It's funny...
It's funny because tonight I long for home.
Willits home.
Pine Mountain home...
even before I read Karine's blog...
I imagined myself walking down the snake back road, down past Ammo's house, right across from the yellow house that sits upon the hill, keeping a hawks eye on whoever entered Pine Mountain...right across the street is where I would be...atop my own hill...watching the cars drive up the road.

That was my favorite spot.
To my right, there is an oak tree and below the hill, there lies the road.
The hill is not too steep...but below me and across from me there is a dirt road, the road that Lucas lives on...
Sometimes I would watch for his car...just to say hello.
To my right...
is Pine Mountain.
Trees upon trees...and yellow waves of grass. Black hawks soar high overhead and deer skitter away in fear of my intrusion.

I went there often...to think, to pray...to write. It was my own special spot...my own special world. Lucas knew of it...but he was the only one.
Dr. Simons says that childhood places are sacred.

I think my childhood ended in June of 2006.

Anyway...
I was missing home terribly tonight. My Pine Mountain home where everything was familiar and beautiful and full of adventures.
Memories...
so many of those too.

Michael Buble sings, "I want to come home."
But I don't have a home...I do...but I don't. Home is where the heart is...and my heart is with JB. But I think it would do me good to go back...to say good-bye since I never had a chance to do so. I'm weird like that. Doc says not to personalize inanimate objects...but I have a hard time not seeing my Journal or my special places as dear friends.

Peter Pan came by again tonight and told me that if I begged, I could probably go to Neverland with him. He says it that way to keep his own pride intact. He is an arrogant boy...but I told him no...I can't go to Neverland...not now, anyway. Maybe later...

I've never been there before but I have a feeling that it resembles Pine Mountain...

I'll visit in June.
And I'll say good-bye...to everything. My heart will stay here, of course, with JB...but my body will go, my mind will go...and when I come back to Los Angeles I can inform my heart that it can go on now...Pine Mountain hasn't changed and everything you've kept there...your dreams, your memories, pieces of your imagination...they'll be safe...living out their own lives and never remembering that you ever left.

My heart has found a home...
but I wonder if my body ever will?

praying for Mexico.
longing...oh, the deep longing to be there...