take apart the captain and the flock

my mom is up this week. the funeral is on saturday.
she was coming up before the funeral.
i wish the 'what if' question didn't haunt me

what if's haunt me at night.
when the sun sets and nestles its head to bed
the moon comes up and brings thoughts of uncontent material

when i sit and blog i feel 'what if's return to my head.

i used to have an imaginary friend
crissy the cheetah.
she rode to school with me

i used to believe that months had 6 weeks

i used to believe that the civil war was in the 1600's

i used to believe that people would never let me down.

i used to believe i was untouchable, invincable.


then i looked in the mirror

i realized all my imperfections
every last one that i could do nothing to fix.

nothing

to
fix.

but thats okay. Jesus saves.
Jesus fixes.
Jesus corrects

( )


i have strange thoughts running around my head.
certain boys keep popping up



my home church is in mexico.
my heart is in mexico now.
I pray for their safety and impact on the village