Confusion

Went home last weekend....
It was good
I really miss my friends from home
Will I ever make friends like that again?

Saw Gino the last 5 min I was in town
Ripped my heart out
Dont know why
Didnt expect to react that way
He looked really good... taller
Confusion

I dont trust my heart
Or my mind for that matter
I continue to do things by my own strength
I even try to grow in my walk with God by my own strength
Thats an oxymoron

How do we fully surrender?
Be in complete obedience to HIM
I dont know
I dont know who I am
I know I find my identity in Christ but what does that mean?

I miss Nor Cal
But i could never live in Willits again
Its too depressing to see everyone who will never leave
So many people are pregnant or have kids...
Some are ingaged or already married...
And you know what they are all right around MY AGE!
And the best part most of them STILL PARTY!!

AHHHHH
Karine I echo you
THIS WORLD NEEDS JESUS

But this world doesn't want HIM
They reject him
Ridicule Him
Spit on Him
They crucify Him EVERY F-ING DAY!!

I understand how Paul feels
"I am torn between the two:
I desire to depart and be with Christ,
Which is better by far; But it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body."
Philippians 1:23-24

May God bless you today